


Like Resignation to the End

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 5k, Break Up, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Make Up, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, Sad, not edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-02 13:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5250275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Zayn breaks Liam, and Louis just wants his couch back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Resignation to the End

He doesn’t know why he went back to their old house. He hadn’t been back since he left the house after he told him to pack his stuff and get out of the house. He hasn’t been back since he told him to stay away from him. He hasn’t been back, and he doesn’t think he will.  
That night, he tried to sleep in their bed. But the image wouldn’t leave. He couldn’t get the image of them on their bed. He screamed that night. Screamed until his voice went raw and tear marks etched themselves into his face. He tried moving to the couch, but the thoughts flooded into his head. They probably started on the couch before moving to the bed, and he couldn’t lie there. Couldn’t lie where she lied. So he packed a bag and left.  
That was two weeks ago, and he hasn’t been back since. And he knows that he can’t sleep on Harry’s couch anymore. He knows that he’s interrupting his and Louis’ together time, but he can’t help it. He can’t go back there. He’s too afraid. He knows that if he goes back, the memories will come back full force. Like projections, the image of them will appear on every surface. And he can’t deal with that. He can’t relive it, or he’ll go out of his mind.  
~  
_“Do you think he’ll like it?” Liam asks Niall as they walk out of the tattoo shop._  
_“He better. It took bloody forever to get it finished.”_  
_Liam smiles as he looks down at his plastic wrapped arm. It was he and Zayn’s three year anniversary, and he wanted to get something special to show his love for him. That’s why he got a copy of Zayn’s mandala tattoo on his forearm. He had been thinking about getting a matching one for a while, but he kept putting it off. This seemed like the perfect time to get it done, so he convinced the Irish blond to come with him to the parlor. It took six hours, but it was completely worth it. He couldn’t wait to show it to Zayn._  
~  
“Liam, Get up. NOW!”  
Liam groans as someone pulls the blanket from his body and coldness attaches itself to his body. Slowly, he opens his eyes and looks up to see Louis standing above him with crossed arms and a glare. Harry stands behind him trying to mimic the glare, but failing miserably.  
“What the heck, Louis! Why’d you do that?”  
“I’m sick of you moping around here like this. It’s been a two weeks, and you’ve barely moved from that spot. I know you’re all sad from you break up, but you have to get up and get on with your life. I’m sick of seeing you both, I mean you, moping around the house like a sad puppy. You need to get up, get your stuff, and either go back to your house, and find a new place. You can’t keep sleeping on our couch. It’s time for you to move on.”  
“I-I can’t Louis. He-  
Liam tries, but he just can’t seem to get the words out.  
“He what, Liam? What did he do to you? Just spit it out.” Louis says with anger clear in his eyes. “If you can’t say it now, then you’ll never be able to fully move on. Just say it Liam! Say Zayn cheated on you!”  
Liam tries. He really does. He knows that he has to move on. But how is he supposed to move on if he can’t even say the word. Maybe that’s why Zayn did what he did. Maybe he couldn’t deal with Liam’s weak self anymore. Couldn’t deal with Liam being self-cautious all the time. Maybe that’s why he went to her. She was confident and pretty, no beautiful, and smart. Everything that Liam wasn’t. Everything he could never be. If he was Zayn, he would have done it too.  
~  
_They met at Francis’ bakery. Liam had worked there for two and a half years now, and it’s where he had met Zayn. Zayn would come in and sit in the booth by the window. He always had a sketchpad with him and would only order a Cinna bun. He always came in during the middle of Liam’s shift, so Liam would be able to *ahem* watch him. It wasn’t until Mrs. Francis had told forced Liam to go over there and ask him out already. So he went over there ready to ask Zayn out. He had a whole speech prepared in his head, and he was prepared if Zayn were to shut him down. When he got over to Zayn’s seat, he recited the whole speech out loud and waited for Zayn to answer. Of course, with Liam’s luck, Zayn hadn’t heard a word of it because he was listening to music. Liam has no idea how he missed the bright red headphones, but he did. Obviously embarrassed, he went to walk away when Zayn called out to him. He had asked him if he could draw Liam sometime. Liam stood there shocked for at least thirty seconds before he blurted out something that sounded like a yes. They exchanged numbers, and the rest was history. They balanced each other out. Zayn was the more artsy one, while Liam was the more musical one. Some days they would just sit in their art room and Zayn would draw, while Liam made mashups and beats. It they worked. At least that’s what Liam thought. Apparently, he was wrong._  
~  
“Hey, Liam,” Harry says as he sits down next to him with two cups of tea. “How are you?”  
He doesn’t finish the sentence, but Liam knows what he means. How are you after this morning after Louis told you to get up and move on with your life? How are you after Louis told you to basically forget about the past two and half years?  
“I-I don’t know. I mean, I know I should move on with my life. I know I can’t spend the rest of my life moping over what he did. I just don’t want to. I don’t want to forget the best years of my life. I don’t want to move on from the best thing that has ever happened to me,” He says before bursting into tears again.  
Harry visibly shrink because he knows what Liam is talking about. He knows why Liam doesn’t want to move on form Zayn. He remembers saying the same thing when he and Louis broke up a year ago. It wasn’t as serious as this, but it hurt just as bad. He knows what it feels like to feel unwanted. He knows what Liam’s going through, and he can’t do anything to take away the pain.  
“Come on, Liam. Let’s go take a shower, then we’ll figure out what to do. How’s that sound?”  
Liam nods and slowly stands. After the shower, he would be better. He had to be better. There was no other option.  
~  
_“Back again, Liam.” Mrs. Francis asks as Liam walks into the bakery._  
_“Hey, Mrs. Francis. I’m just here to pick up that order I placed earlier.”_  
_“Oh, that’s right. Today’s the day, isn’t it?”_  
_“Yep, and I just want to make sure everything is going to be perfect.”_  
_“That’s so sweet, honey. You’re order’s right in the back, so wait here a moment while I go get it.”_  
_Liam smiles and nods as she walks into the backroom. In a few more hours, he and Zayn would be having the best anniversary ever. He had planned everything out. The reservations were set. The tattoo was slowly healing, and the Cinna buns should be ready. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. And then it wasn’t._  
_~_  
“Uh, Harry?” Liam asks as Harry sits him down on the bed.  
“Yeah, Liam?”  
“Where’s Louis?” Liam can feel Harry tense up for a minute before he relaxes. “He went out after the thing this morning, and he hasn’t been back since then.”  
“He uh went out to for a walk I think. I’m not sure. He said he’ll be back later.” Harry says obviously avoiding the question.  
“Harry, this is the like the third time this week that he’s been gone. Where does he keep going?”  
“I-  
“And don’t give me that crap about him going out for a walk. I want to know the truth. Where does he keep going?”  
“I-  
“Harry!”  
“I-It’s not my place to say. You have to ask him yourself.”  
“Harry.”  
“I can’t. I-I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”  
Groaning, Liam drops back onto the bed. What were they hiding? Where does Louis keep going, and why couldn’t Harry tell him. Harry told him everything. They never kept secrets from each other. He didn’t know what was going on, but he sure as heck was going to find out.  
~  
Louis came back three hours later. When he walked in and saw Liam sitting on the couch watching TV, he sighed and walked right past him up the stairs, Harry close behind. An hour later, Liam was cooking in the kitchen when Louis and Harry finally came down. Louis wore a grimace, and Harry looked determined.  
“Liam, can we talk for you for a minute please?” Harry asks from the living room.  
“I’m a little busy right now, Harry. Can it wait?”  
“No, it can’t. Louis has something to tell you,” Harry says.  
Liam can hear a groan, presumably from Louis. He knows that Louis is probably going to tell him where he’s been going, but he’s not sure he wants to know anymore. What if he doesn’t like the answer? But he knows he can’t put it off. He asked earlier, and now he’s getting his answer.  
Turning off the stove, he trudges into the living room. Louis stands there biting his nails as Harry stands impatiently tapping his foot. When Liam walks in, Louis’ eyes quickly snap up to him, before he guiltily looks away.  
“Please sit, Liam,” Harry says motioning to the couch. “So, earlier you asked where Louis has been going for the past week, and Louis is here to tell you.”  
“Do I have to, Haz?” Louis pouts.  
“Yes you do, Louis. He has the right to know.”  
Louis groans before sitting down next to Liam.  
“So, look. Don’t get mad at me about what I’m telling you, okay. I’m both of you guy’s friends, and I couldn’t just help you and not him.”  
Liam blanches because he knows what Louis’ about to say. He just needs Louis to say it and confirm his thoughts.  
“And you did the same for me when Harry and I broke up, so please try to be open minded.”  
“Just spit it out, Louis,” Liam says through clenched teeth.  
“Okay, so a few days after you and Zayn you know broke up-  
“You mean after he cheated on me?” Liam spits out, finally able to say the word.  
“Y-yeah. Well, I ran into Zayn-  
“Ran into him where”  
“At his house.”  
Liam can feel the anger building up inside of him. He can’t believe Louis purposefully went over to that cheater’s house.  
“Wait, let me guess. You walked in on him with that Perrie girl, didn’t you, or did you see them happily making out with each other on his couch?” Liam retorts.  
“N-No-  
“Or was he with some other girl? Better yet, I bet he was with another girl!”  
“LIAM!” Harry yells stopping his rant. “Let Louis finish, okay.”  
Harry nods at Louis telling him to continue.  
“So, I went over to Zayn’s and he wasn’t with another girl or guy. He wasn’t with anyone. He was…he was-  
“He was what, Louis?”  
“He was sitting on the couch. In the dark. There had to be at least five broken bottles on the ground. There was a hole in the TV, and his hand was covered in glass and blood. A-and the stove was on. I’m not sure when he put it on, but if I hadn’t stopped by, it would have started a fire. And with the state Zayn was in, I don’t think he would’ve left,” Louis sighs before continuing. “You wanted to know where I’ve been going these past few days. After that day, I-I couldn’t leave him. I didn’t know what was going to happen to him if I didn’t keep checking on him. He hasn’t gotten any better since then, and I don’t know what else to do to help him. He doesn’t speak, and I have to force him to eat. I- He’s one of my best friends Liam. I-I just couldn’t leave him. I’m sorry, Liam. I just couldn’t leave him on his own. I couldn’t do that to him.”  
Louis finishes speaking and lets out a big breath. He seems glad he told, but he looks nervous as he waits for Liam to say something.  
“I-I think I need some time to myself,” Liam says standing up and heading for the stairs.  
Harry nods, but Louis still seems kind of guilty.  
“I-I’m not mad at you, Louis. I promise. I just need to think about somethings first.”  
Liam hears Louis let out a relieved sigh before he gets up and walks up the stairs. When he gets upstairs, he walks into the bathroom and locks the door behind him. He can’t believe what Louis said. He can’t be right. It makes no sense. Why would Zayn be sad? Why would Zayn need somebody to tend to him? He’s the one who cheated! Shouldn’t he be happy that he’s leaving Liam behind? He doesn’t need or care about Liam anymore, and Liam shouldn’t care about Zayn anymore. So why can’t he get the image of Zayn out of his head? What if something is seriously wrong? Zayn only gets in that mood when it’s something serious, and Liam’s the only one who can bring him back. And that’s always hard too. What if Zayn never fixes himself? What if he stays like he is now? No matter how hard he tries, Liam just can’t stop worrying about Zayn. Even though they were broken up, he couldn’t let Zayn keep hurting like that. He didn’t deserve that. Nobody did. That’s why Liam had to go see him. He just had to get some things from the house first.  
~  
_“Hey, Zayn. It’s me again. I’m just calling to let you know that I’m on my way home now. Can’t wait to see you. Love you and see you soon!”_  
_Liam pressed the end call button on his phone and bit his lip. Zayn always picked up the phone when Liam called. The only time he didn’t was when he was in his art zone. Maybe that was it. Yeah. Of Course. Zayn was probably just painting or something. He wouldn’t purposefully ignore Liam. He would never do that. Right?_  
~  
Liam stood at the door. What was once familiar looked so unusual. No matter how hard he wanted to resist going inside, he knew he had to if he wanted to help Zayn. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the door, closed his eyes, and walked inside the house.  
_~_  
_Pulling into the driveway, Liam parked beside another car. After a moment of confusion, he realized that it was that girl who was modeling for Zayn. The pretty blonde._  
_“What was she doing there?” Liam thought. “Why would she be over now? She3 wasn’t scheduled again until this weekend.”_  
_Clearing his thoughts, Liam grabbed the box of Cinna buns and headed inside._  
_“Zayn,” Liam called out over the sound of the radio blasting from the art room. “I’m home, babe.”_  
_With no reply, Liam put the box on the counter and headed toward the room._  
_“Hey, babe. What are you doing in the-_  
_Two surprised gasps interrupted his sentence. Zayn’s head popped up from behind a blonde head. He had a smear of red stemming from the edge of his mouth to the base of his neck. The sight of the smirking girl brought tears to Liam’s eyes. He couldn’t believe Zayn was doing this. He- He cheated on him. And on their anniversary at that._  
_“Li. I-It’s not what it looks like,” Zayn stuttered._  
_“Really, Zayn. It looks pretty explanatory to me,” the girl says from Zayn’s lap._  
_Zayn rolls his eyes and moves to stand up and walk towards Liam. Liam gasps and takes a step back as he see the buttons on Zayn’s shirt ripped open. His eyes flicker between Zayn and the girl as he processes everything._  
_“Get out!” Liam says to the girl._  
_She flinches before rolling her eyes._  
_“I said, GET OUT!” Liam says louder again._  
_She narrows her eyes and glares at Liam before pushing past him._  
_“Call if you ever want to continue this, Zaynie,” she says before slamming the door behind her._  
_Taking a deep breath, Liam turns around and walks towards their bedroom. He hears Zayn following closely behind. Once he gets into the room, he pulls out a duffel bag from the closet and throws it on the bed._  
_“Li-Li what are you doing?” Zayn asks as Liam turns to face Zayn. “Where are you going?”_  
_“I’m not going anywhere, Zayn. You are!”_  
_Zayn takes a deep breath, and Liam can see the tears forming._  
_“Pack your stuff and get out of the house!”_  
_“Li…I-_  
_“No, Zayn! You don’t get to do this. Pack your stuff and get out of our house!”_  
_“But Li, you don’t understand,” Zayn pleads._  
_“I don’t understand what, Zayn. That you were just kissing someone who is not me, your boyfriend,” Liam scoffs before shaking his head and walking out of the room. “And on our anniversary too.”_  
_“Li, I-_  
_“Do NOT call me that,” Liam says turning to Zayn._  
_“But Liam. You’ve gotta believe me. I’m your boyfriend remember. You love me, and I love you. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”_  
_“Ex-boyfriend. You lost that title the minute you kissed her.” Liam hears Zayn gasp and he struggles to keep his voice straight. “We are over, Zayn. By the time I get back, I want you and your things out of here.”_  
_“B-But where am I supposed to go?” Zayn asks with tears clear in his voice._  
_“I don’t know, Zayn. The blond did say to call her. Maybe you should take her up on that offer seeing as how I did interrupt you two.”_  
_Zayn pales and starts to sob as Liam slams the door behind him. When he gets into his car, the dam breaks and Liam is overcome with sobs. They tear through his body as he cries out. He can’t be near this house anymore. He has to leave, so he turns on the engine, wipes his face, and drives off with the sound of Zayn’s sobs echoing in his ear._  
_~_  
The house is quiet. Almost like the last argument in the house never happened. It still smells like Zayn and Liam. After he left the house, Zayn’s stuff was still there. But he wasn’t. The duffel bag that he threw on the bed, still sat there staring at him.  
Walking into the art room, Liam can feel his heart speed up. He hasn’t been in this room since the night of the argument. He tried to go in after Zayn left, but he only succeeded in almost getting a panic attack. But he had to go in today. He had to get some things for Zayn that always helped him when he got into this mood. Liam was about to put himself at risk for the ex that he still loved.  
~  
_Liam trudged up the stairs. Part of him hoping Zayn had left, while the other hoped Zayn was still there. His shoes weren’t at the side of the door where he normally left them, so Liam assumed that he was gone. He just didn’t want to believe it._  
_He had to check the whole house before he was sure Zayn was truly gone. So far, he had checked all the rooms, except for the art room. It was the last place that he knew Zayn would be if he was still here._  
_Liam took a deep breath before he opened the door and walked inside the room. It was the same as it was before. Various drawings covered the walls, and the floor was covered in white paper. Everything looked familiar, except for Zayn’s workbench. No matter how many time he rubbed his eyes, he couldn’t get the picture of them out of his mind. They kept appearing at all sections of the room. On the far end of the room. On the floor. On Liam’s table. On Zayn’s workbench. No matter how hard he tried to get the image out of his mind, it just wouldn’t go away. Nothing could take him form the room. Suddenly, a hand clasped onto his shoulder. Turning around, Liam stared into Harry’s face._  
_“Liam. Listen to me. You have to stop screaming,” he says making Liam realize he’s screaming. “It’s okay. I’ve got you now.”_  
_Liam crumpled into Harry’s arms worn out from everything that happened today. Closing his eyes, he feel into an endless pit of darkness._  
~  
The sound of the door opening pulls Liam from his memory, and he walks towards the front door, confused. Who could be at the door? They had to have a key, and only he and Zayn had one. Unless Zayn gave his key to someone, then it had to be…  
“Li?”  
Gasping, Liam’s eyes go wide as he takes in his ex’s appearance. There are two dark black rings around his eyes. His eyes are red and puffy as if he’s been crying which would make sense with what Louis told him. But that’s not what has Liam’s attention. Zayn’s hand does. It’s wrapped in gauze that looks a few days old. There are a few red spots leaking through and horrible thoughts rush into Liam’s head. Before they can do any damage, he hears Zayn call out his name again.  
“Li. I-I mean Liam, what are you doing here?” he asks.  
His voice is hoarse, and it sounds like it hasn’t been used for days. Liam moves to wrap his arms around Zayn but stops when he remembers what he did to him.  
“I-I was getting some stuff. What are you doing here? Louis told me you weren’t leaving the house.”  
“Louis told you. I thought I told him not to tell you anything,” he mutters to himself.  
“Still keeping secrets, I see,” Liam says as he feels the anger rising in him.  
He can’t believe he was about to go over to see Zayn. After he cheated on him, nonetheless. And on top of that, he was still keeping secrets. He hadn’t learned anything. No. Liam was not going to keep worrying about Zayn. He was not his responsibility anymore.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Zayn asks with a glare.  
“You know what it’s supposed to mean. Don’t play dumb.”  
“I’m not playing dumb.”  
“Oh, really. So you don’t remember every time I asked you what you were doing with that blonde girl who was modeling for you. You don’t remember saying, It’s nothing, babe. Were just working. I would never cheat on you. You don’t remember that, Zayn?”  
“Liam-  
“No! Save it! I was so mad at you, you know. When I walked in on you two, I didn’t know what to think. I was shocked at first, then I was mad. I was so mad at you Zayn. I couldn’t believe you would ever cheat on me. I always thought you would be it for me. I guess I was wrong,” Liam can feel the tears fighting to come out, but he knows he has to keep it back. “I was devastated, Zayn. For that first week, I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing you and that girl. I was a mess, Zayn. And just when I was starting to get better, Louis had to tell me about you. About how you were in your mood again. And I turned back into old Liam. I had to make sure you were okay because I knew that I was the only one who could bring you back. I was the only one that you trusted, and I couldn’t let you be like that. I couldn’t stand the fact that you were hurt, and I hated myself for still wanting to check up on you. I hated myself for wanting to make sure you were okay. I hated myself for still loving you even after everything you put me through.”  
Liam falls to the ground as sobs tear through his body. After a moment, familiar arms wrap around his shoulders. He wants to resist, but his body disagrees and falls back into its old ways.  
“Liam, look, I’m sorry. Okay. I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be. I need to tell you everything that happened that day, though. That night, when you walked in on us, you didn’t see the whole thing.  
~  
_It was their anniversary, and Zayn was working hard to finish his gift to Liam. He had been painting this piece of Liam as Batman and himself as Robin. He had been working on it for weeks now, and he was almost finished with it. He knew he should call Liam to see how much time he had left, but his phone was somewhere in the house. He didn’t want to waste time to try and find it, so he kept working. He wanted this to be the best gift for Liam._  
_Twenty minutes later, he had finally finished the painting. It was one of his best pieces, and he couldn’t wait to show Liam. After he hung the painting up to dry, he decided to go take a quick shower. Unbuttoning his shirt, he got ready to head toward his room, when he heard the front door open. Thinking it was Liam, he quickly tried to find a hiding spot and put it in one of the closets. When he looked down at his hands, he saw the paint on them, and he knew Liam would realize that he had been painting. He was in the process of peeling the paint off his fingers, someone touched the back of his shoulder. At first, he thought it was Liam, but the hands felt smaller and daintier. Immediately turning around, he saw it was Perrie, one of the girls who was modeling for one of his art projects._  
_“How did you get into my house?” he asked backing away from her._  
_“The door was unlocked. You should really be careful with that. Crazy people could get inside your house, and you wouldn’t even know.”_  
_“What do you need?”_  
_“Well, the other day at the art program, I felt that we had this connection, you know. The way you were looking at me gave me this feeling that you and I could be something.”_  
_Stuttering, Zayn tried to work his way around her, so he could use the house phone to call the cops, but she pushed him onto his work bench and sat on his lap._  
_“U-uh. I’m seeing someone at the moment.”_  
_“Well, they don’t have to know.”_  
_She smiled, and the next thing he knew, she had attacked his face with her mouth. He tried to pull away, but she bit his lip, and he groaned in pain. A startled gasp at the door finally made her stop. With clouded eyes, he looked up at the door only to find a teary eyed Liam. Zayn knows what Liam must be thinking. He must hate him now. Maybe if it weren’t for what the girl said, he could have convinced Liam. But Liam’s mad now. His eyes are angry, and Liam rarely gets angry. When Liam tells Zayn to have his stuff gone by the time he gets back, Zayn loses it. The moment the door slams shut, Zayn’s heart shatters. Liam thinks Zayn cheated on him. He thinks Zayn doesn’t love him anymore. He hates Zayn._  
_The next few days passed in a blur. Once we got back to his old flat, he slept as much as possible. When he did wake, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. For the next few minutes, he struggled to breathe as tears ran down his face. He couldn’t believe this was happening to him. He had tried to call Liam multiple times, but nobody was picking up the phone. He just wanted to feel something other than sadness, so he punched the television. The gaping hole did nothing to soothe him, and he couldn’t help but cry until everything went black. When he came to, Louis was standing over him screaming something. He told Zayn that the stove was on, and it could have started a fire. Zayn doesn’t remember putting on the stove, but he nods his head when Louis asked if he put it on. For the next week or so, (Zayn’s not really sure. He lost track of time.) Louis would come over at the same time every day and make sure Zayn ate, showered, and son and so forth. Today, however, was different because he told him to go and tell Liam everything because he had been sulking too long. So, Zayn had went over to their old house to get the painting. He had hoped it would help Liam forgive him. Imagine his surprise when he saw Liam at the house._  
~  
Zayn finishes his story, and Liam feels happy and tired. Zayn didn’t cheat on him. That girl kissed him out of nowhere. Everything was a big misunderstanding which meant that he was separated form Zayn for no reason. He goes to speak, but Zayn shushes him.  
“Let’s sleep first, okay. Then, we can talk. I haven’t slept for a full night for weeks.”  
Liam nods as Zayn picks him up and carries him to their bedroom. He lays them down and kisses Liam on his forehead.  
“Tomorrow, we’re celebrating our anniversary.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic. Comments and feedback are much appreciated.


End file.
